This blog has undergone so many metamorphoses and yet I keep deleting everything I write. A big part of this, I think, is that I am not sure what the purpose of it all is and without a purpose it feels meaningless as well as inauthentic. I started this blog as a way to keep track of my social media — a course requirement for me — but as time goes on I have grown less and less invested in the media industry. This was embarrassingly easy — my true love of words has always pertained to stories and novels, which while technically under the ‘media’ blanket, is not exactly profitable. I suspect I am holding onto some shred of interest in this blog because I am not ready to admit that I have failed at that yet.
And, as well as that, because I do not want to fail at that yet. I don’t know if I will ever have a career in the media — at this point, I hope not, hello social anxiety — but I still want to write. And writing takes practice. Part of this I am doing with my stories — ridiculous fantastical stories riddled with plotholes and grammatical errors, that still manage to occupy significant mental and hard-drive space. But stories aren’t enough, and I struggle with the other stuff.
So I will keep plodding along here.